Parenting.

So after reading an interesting article and agreeing with it, I got inspired to tell you all just how we parent Kara. Feel free to question a few things, I don't mind!

So here's the article: Article by Sunnyskyz.
It's about sharing. And how the mom doesn't "teach her kids to share."It's actually quite an interesting read, and I recommend it!

So onto how we parent our daughter.

1. Like the article, I don't see the point in "sharing" if she's the one with the toy. It's Kara's toy, she doesn't need to share it if she doesn't want to. The other kid can wait until she's done, if she ever is. And like I've said before, it goes the other way around. Kara can't just take another kid's toy.

2. When Kara is throwing her fit, I will never say "stop crying." I never understood why parents do that. They're crying for a reason and all you can say is "STOP THAT CRYING RIGHT NOW"? Now, if it's for a reason like me not letting her climb on the chair, I may say "Kara it's okay. Come on let's go play with your toys." But I will never have her repress her feelings because God forbid she's crying because she's sad. It's one of my biggest pet peeves when someone tells another to quit crying, or being emotional. Like, just because she has feelings doesn't mean they aren't justified.

3. This article is a pretty good read too. And it's pretty much what I mean when I say I won't force Kara to apologize. I don't want her to think than an empty apology and a "sorry" is okay. Because it isn't. I will let things cool down, then take her back over and have the two talk things out. I don't enjoy the word "sorry." Much like others, I was supposed to say it, even when I didnt even mean it. No, I wasn't sorry. I cared about their feelings, and I tried to make it up to them. It got to the point where I use "sorry" so often for meaningless things. I'm in someones way even though they could go around? "Sorry." Except I'm not sorry, and shouldnt be sorry. Lol. I don't want Kara doing empty apologies. There's no reason for it. She will go up to the child, say what she did wrong and why it was wrong, and then ask if they still want to carry on doing what they were doing. Easy as pie.
"In one corner, a vocal group that includes prominent child psychologist Michael Carr-Gregg, who believed that the word sorry had lost its meaning, and that children - the cheeky little rascals - will say sorry just to satisfy an adult's expectations without them actually feeling any sorrow." From this pretty nifty article. Lots of comments under it as well, just fyi.
And a huge recommendation for this article right here! This is what I mean.

4. One scenario I always see is when family members or friends grab a child and kiss/hug them even when the child clearly doesn't want a kiss or a hug. That's a big no-no. Kara has a right to her own body, and if she doesn't want to hug or kiss you, then don't force it.

5. Yelling is also a big no. It can be hard, but kids (and adults) don't deserve to be yelled at. Sure, it can happen sometimes when I'm on a short fuse, but I don't mean to. Yelling fixes nothing.

6. There's no "I'm bigger, so I have more power" either.

7. Oh, and there's no cry-it-out either. The only time Kara cries in her room, is when she's being especially bad, and I just need 5 minutes to cool off.

8. And there's no spanking. At all. There's no reason for it. I am guilty of slapping her hands though, and I'm trying not to. I feel so bad after, so slapping hands is another "there's absolutely no reason for it."

9. I could seriously go on about spanking forever. So I'll just get it out here. Do you want someone hitting you? Probably not. Kids are the only people you can legally hit, and they're also the most vulnerable. It makes me sick when people are PROUD of spanking their kids. Like, "Yeah. I totally spank my kids and make them sad and cry. It's awesome." No. No it's not okay to spank. Sure, it may work SHORT TERM, but no way does it work long term. Here, read these: MSN, Ahaparenting, Time.
Spanked kids are less emotionally healthy, more likely to have depression and anxiety, are more aggressive (no surprise there), and are more likely to hit others (again, no surprise there either.)
Not to mention, you spank because YOU'RE mad. Which makes it worse. And there's hundreds of studies against it, yet it's still okay to do. It's just so sad.
Just... stop hitting your children please. Because let's just call it what it is. It's not a spanking, it's hitting.

10. Homeschooling is a very real choice for us. We are very well considering it. Maybe not for Kindergarten, but for other grades. Public school doesn't prepare you for the "real world." How does sitting in a room full of kids ALL you age, with one adult prepare you for the real world? I spent half the time not in school, or not paying attention. The only reason I went back to school after being home schooled is because my mom and her then husband were going through a rough time, and frankly, I didn't want to deal with it. But other than that, home schooling was great. I loved it. Kara will be able to go out with me, and be around people who are all different! She will learn life lessons from actually experiencing life. We can go to museums for history, and art museums for art. We can go to the track for PE, and she can help me cook. She can read books and write books. Go to zoos and aquariums to focus on animals and science. Cater towards her likings. She can have so much more than public school could ever give her. Sure, it won't be easy, but I think it's the best option. Jason and I are still talking about it.
Read some of these: this one, and this one, and this.

There's a bit more, but I'm going to watch a movie with my baby <3 I hope you all enjoyed this and read the articles! Just remember as long as your children are happy and stable, you're doing the right thing.